How Did I Get Here, How Did I Fall ?

Let me back track just a little bit ...... In a way I was right, the heavens did conspire against me.

When my company announced that they were making redundancies I got worried, my mind instantly focused on both not being made redundant and being redundant.

Can they, would they?
No I work to hard for them, I am much needed and respected.........or am I?

It consumed me from the very first thought and with every worry came another negative thought and another.

I even mentally prepared for the eventuality of being let go by reading self help books in preparation for being back on the "market", so to speak.

Now if you believe as I now do, that if you put out negativity you will get it back, you reap what you sew, or you are what you think, then I was going no matter what I did.

Even though in some ways I expected it, I was still very much in denial that it would actually happen to me which is why when it did I was devastated.

All I could do was to try and rationalize it in my head over and over again just as I did when it was announced...

So what has changed?

How have I got to this position of positivity when at the moment I am still technically job less!

All that I can say is that it was not any one immediate thing apart from a shift in the way I have started to look and think about things.

When you feel as emotional as I felt about loosing my job, you have to address that emotion.

Now not everybody is emotional about these things.

Some people are quite logical about it, but they can still feel desperate when faced with the inevitable loss of ones job and lively-hood and being faced with the prospect of finding employment in a depressed economy.

Logical minds try to order things, they go through a process of tying up the loose ends, revamping the CV applying for jobs. They pull on the interview suit and go knocking on company doors.All of which is good when done with a positive mindset and not with an air of desperation.

But it is in the waiting period that people tend to get lost, bottling up all of their worries,feelings and emotions.
All usually negative.

So whats is the answer?
Well they say that it is good to talk and it is true no matter what is on your mind it helps to get it out in the open and to hear what you think.

Thinking is good, infact it is better than good it is powerfull.
But it is important to remember that we create in our thoughts so when we dwell on things we are actually putting power to those thoughts, which if they are negative will serve to compound our situation and only return disastrous results.

However the same rule works when we think positively!
Remember thought is powerfull,in fact everything ever invented or achieved started with a singular thought.

So think positive!

What did I do today?

I got up for work like I always do..... I washed, shaved, had breakfast and then sat down again my head a mass of confused thoughts and anger.

You see there was no job to go to anymore, I was made redundant, my company had let me go,(fools, they'll regret it, whose going to do the things I did for them.........!).

I could not believe it nor could my friends and colleagues.........Me?! Why would they do that?

Well that's what happened. A twist of fate, the heavens conspiring against me for some un-paid debt from a past life maybe?

I don't know, I just don't know.... (or do I?).

It's not just about the money either, which I will very much miss. Who wouldn't I was well paid.

I loved my job and the company that I worked for and they in turn loved me, I thought.

Before I go any further and you stop reading, thinking that this is just some mad man having a good moan about losing his job, let me explain a couple of things.

• Yes I could indeed be mad, but it does depend on your perception.


• No, I won't be moaning about my job loss anymore, (or at least not here, but then I can't promise that I won't fall into the occasional rant as that is part of my nature too).

When I started this blog it was to let loose my anger and frustration. To exorcise a few of my newer demons. But things have taken a strange twist and I find that I am now looking at it from a different view point.

My intention may now be to share with everyone or anyone who wants to read this blog how I am dealing with my life.....without the job that I loved (haha) and for others to talk about how they are getting on, there are a lot of us out there at the moment some are even 'credit crunch' virgins, who in the words of Madonna are, "touched for the very first time".

Maybe, if you are in the same situation you will see things the same way or a little differently too.

At this stage I am not sure how this will go, the blog that is. I have been writing for years but this is the first time that I have offered it up so the format will change as I go along, maybe or it won't.

But I will allow some space for it to change and grow because believe me change IS good!

Ok so some times it grabs us by the scruff of the neck and throws us in the dirt for a little while.

"But if things don't change they will stay the same", that's what an old guy I worked with used to say when I was starting out at sixteen and he was about 200yrs old.

But like so many things that he would say, he was right.........things do need to change, if they didn't then how boring would it all be then?

So, change is good, don't be afraid of it!